But even if you don’t have a way with words, don’t let that stop you from expressing your support. The recipient of flowers for funerals, even if unable to demonstrate it, will be incredibly grateful.
The Healing Power of Flowers
Therapists point out that flowers can have a subliminal — but no less potent — effect on healing. Their colours, fragrances, and textures speak to the senses, creating a respite from turmoil. Pastels (pale pinks, blues, whites) are soothing to the eye, while deep reds or purples express love and devotion. The act of sending flowers provides a concrete gesture of assistance for your loved one to hold and cherish at a time when all else seems lost.
Be Present, Not Perfect
Sometimes your friend will want to talk, and other times your friend will just want you around. Try not to say phrases like “it will get better” or “you’ll survive.” Instead, say things like, “I’m here,” or, “I can’t imagine your pain, but I have your back.”
Being present also includes listening. Listen more and talk less. Give them time and space to share memories, things they may be mad about, things they may be unhappy about, and you don’t have to provide solutions….silence can be words to them too. It just lets them know that you are there with them…without judging them or forcing them to speak.
Help Them Find the Way
During the devastation of grief, the things we need help with the most are the most basic things. Help them cook dinner, do the laundry, and help make phone calls for arrangements. Stop asking and start doing. Instead of saying, “I’m here for you if you need anything,” — DO something. You often need to tell the people grieving what they need, as they don’t have the energy to figure it out themselves.
Support Them Long-Term
Keep in mind that grief doesn’t stick to a schedule. Simply checking in regularly, sending an empathetic note, or sharing a moment of simple joy can reassure your friend that they’re not alone. Providing ongoing support conveys to your friend that they can rely on you, rather than fading from the scene once the initial waves of caring sympathy ebb.
Conclusion: Comfort Beyond Words
Ultimately, comforting a friend who is grieving isn’t about finding the right words at all. It’s about showing up and being there for them in the best way you can. When words won’t cut it, there are still a number of ways to extend emotional support, such as sending sympathy flowers for a funeral, lending an ear, or offering assistance with practical matters. At the very least, you’ll help remind your friend that you care.